Lessons Learned

"When things get tough, the tough get going." That's what you always hear people say. It's a trite, but sometimes true. Are they talking about just doggedly slogging through whatever comes their way or is it something else? In my life, when times got tough, I always been able to get through them one way or another. Sometimes I end up with more scars than others.

For every brilliant move I've made, there have been ten other situations that I've stumbled through. Some of them are funny. And come are painful. I can either lock those stumbling, scarring, embarassing experiences away in the closet and hope they never surface again or I can dissect them and try to figure out what lessons they are teaching me. Today I'd like to share a few lessons I've learned from some tough experiences.

Let's get started...

Be humble -- ask questions

If you're used to being the student at the head of the class--the one who knows all the answers--sometimes its tough to step back and admit to yourself (and others) that you just don't understand what's going on. As much as you may want it to seem like you know everything, that's impossible. And nobody really expects you to know everything--except possibly you.

Years ago a friend and mentor once told me, "Even a fool can teach you something." I always liked that saying and it's a good one to remember when you are confused. The best thing you can do when you don't understand something is to ask questions and learn. That's not to say that everyone you ask questions of is a fool. The point is that nobody knows everything, but everyone has some morsel of knowledge to share.

It's up to you to ask the right questions and to listen to the answers, though. The second half of this lesson is to keep on asking questions until it makes complete sense to you. Don't just take the first answer you get. Keep digging until you are completely satisfied and feel like you have a complete grasp of the situation. Make yourself teachable. And ask. Ask. Ask.

Details are important -- have a plan

You've probably heard people say, "I'm a big-picture guy." Well, I'm here to tell you that a big picture is always an incomplete picture. There's a reason that the saying, "the devil is in the details" is so popular. It's true. Don't rush into something without doing the necessary detailed planning. It doesn't mean that you, as a leader, have to come up with the all of the plans for your company all on your own, but you need to make sure that you understand them. You may not be the one executing the plan, but you are definitely the one responsible if the plan fails.

Once you have a plan, you also need to make sure that it's executed properly. Part of the plan should include ways to monitor the progress. You need to be able to figure out how well the plan is working and whether or not you will have to make adjustments along the way. There's a crude saying that I've found to be rather true in business. "Crap rolls uphill." That means, that if your team fails to deliver, it's your fault. Don't make excuses for failure by citing someone else's mistakes. Make a plan. Understand it. Monitor it. Details ARE important.

Don't be "religious" about your arguments - learn to "let it go"

Sometimes, in the course of business, arguments about certain topics can get passionate and heated. That shows that people have a lot of ownership of their ideas and genuinely believe in what they are doing. This is type of zeal can be a great motivator and can really help you harness your energy to accomplish great things. But zeal doesn't win arguments.

Just because you are passionate about something doesn't mean that you are right. Whether you are an Intern, a Developer, a Director or the CEO, you have someone to answer to and someone who will argue with you about your ideas or plans. Sometimes you just won't win an argument. For me, it was tough (and still is sometimes) to learn when to stop arguing. Once you've lost (or won), let it go. Move on. Get back to work. If you find yourself stewing about it, take a walk. Play a game. Do something different to get your mind off of it. Just. Let. It. Go.

Be open to alternatives - YOUR plan may not be the best

Sometimes I've come up with what I felt was a great solution to some problem at work, but when I present the solution my boss or the customer they seemed skeptical or just weren't as excited about it as I was. Sometimes you can feel like you KNOW that you have the best solution (I know I feel like this sometimes), but it's not well received. It may be difficult for you to understand why everyone else isn't as excited as you are.

At times like these, you need to take a step back and take a second look at the problem you are trying to solve. Instead of putting all of your effort into trying to convince others that you have the answer, sometimes you have to take a look at what problems you are trying to solve and realize that there may be another way to solve them. Remember, it's not YOUR solution that's important; it's solving the problem that's important.

Whether or not your plan is the most efficient or makes the most sense to you may be irrelevant in some situations. As part of a team, you sometimes have to compromise. Don't settle, but do compromise. The best solution is the one that both solves the problem and has buy-in from your team. Always keep an open mind.


Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope that some of these thoughts resonate with you in some way. I've always found that learning that someone else who has the same problems I do, makes them seem smaller and easier to get around somehow. What are some of your obstacles? What have they taught you? I'd love to learn from you.